I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
