my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
