Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize