If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
