seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
