He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Randomize
