I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What drink are we having for lunch?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
