Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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