Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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