so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
