watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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