Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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