I need help removing her.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize