I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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