even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
