Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
