i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize