anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
