loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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