just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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