yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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