How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
