Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
