is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
