It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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