her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize