So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize