i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
