I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You don't make any sense
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