seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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