We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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