People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Randomize
