I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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