....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
