Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
