Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize