quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
