Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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