so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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