to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
