it was like his penis was on wheels.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
pray to the hookup gods
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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