My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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