my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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