Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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