how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Houston, we have a blender
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
