She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
