I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
