Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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