her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
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