I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
