he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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