I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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