Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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