I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize