Who did Billy Mays play for?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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