ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
