I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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