I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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