I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
