so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
not ubering you a puppy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize