So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
