you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
