She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i need some magic done to my vagina
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
