There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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